That's right kids, that's a Newcastle draughtkeg. For years now, we've only had the option of drinking the shitty Heineken draughtkeg if we wanted to pull a party stunt like drinking out of one of these things. But now, alas, after all this time...I introduce the Newcast Brown Ale draughtkeg.I was at my local Albertson's yesterday when I spotted this heavenly blessing. I know what you're wondering...and yes, I made a scene in the middle of the beer aisle...yes, I started cursing loudly in excitement and proclaiming my love for Newcastle...yes, people in line were in awe of my forthcoming purchase...yes, they left the line and went and grabbed one too.
In my years of debauchery, I've drank more Newcastle than any other beer. I'm definitely not the pussy that complains "oh, it's too heavy for me"...or, "I can only drink 1 or 2 of those". No no...I'm the guy who has walked uninvited to the storage room of grocery stores in search of their last case of Newcastle. And I found it. Unfortunately, I've been getting a bit bored of Newcastle lately. Maybe it was due to overconsumption, maybe it's just not that great of a beer...but whatever the case, my faith was restored when they released the draughtkeg.
I drank all 5 litres of it last night.
Then went to the bars.
Then woke up in my bed at 10am with no idea of what how I got there.
Time to go to Vegas.
Carbonated water + dirt - awesome football team = shitty ass Newcastle beer.
ReplyDeleteWe may be offered new forms for its consumption, but it's like putting a silk hat on a pig.