Parking by the beach is a bitch...

Let's face it, everyone wants to be near the beach, especially on the weekend nights when we're all partying. So the first thing to be gone around 5:oopm on a friday evening around here is available on street parking...the very next thing to go is my sobriety, if I ever regained it after Thursday night.

In order to properly tell this story, I need to give you some details of how the night started...

So one night after recently moving in to a new place, my new roommate and a girlfriend of hers went out to the bars for a few drinks. Well, they being girls had only a few drinks, and I had a lot. This was only after we rode bikes to the bars...which was only after I made a togo cup coctail concoction. I had to make the concoction since we had no plastic cups. Anyways, here's the insructions for your coctail togo cup, should you ever find yourself without any plastic cups, but for some reason a plethora of Birthday Cone Hats:

Step 1: Grab your Birthday Cone Hat...put tape on the folded over part to prevent leakage.












Step 2: Pour in that liqour...(don't forget to fill the flask back up for the bars)












Step 3: Pour in that mixer...









Step 4: hop on your bike and drink up on your way to the bar

So we rode our bikes to the bars, I pounded the cone, drank another flask, drinks at the bar, etc etc...and all the sudden I'm far more intoxicated than anyone else.

My roommate and her friend collected me from the group of girls I was entertaining with stories of revelry, as we were getting picked up for a free ride home. The drive was only about 2 minutes, but the search for parking was racking up time and getting way too tedious.

I noticed a spot that was several feet too small for our car (or anything other than a smart car) with a 1990's mercedes in front and something else in back. The Benz had about 3 feet in front of it's wheels to the red zone, so I decided to do what any drunk, persistent, show off would do:

I climbed into the Mercedes through it's opened sun roof and unlocked the car...put the car in neutral (and this was an automatic...not sure why I was so certain it would work, and not sure why it did work), and pushed the car out of our way so we could park. Put the mercedes in park and locked in once again.

First night out with my new roommate and her friends, and already I had a reputation as a hoodrat. They were impressed enough to document my homemade togo cup for your viewing pleasure, but as far as the climbing in the stranger's mercedes (which could well have been mistaken for Grand Theft Auto if the owner came out), some things are better left undocumented.

-S. Walling

PS- Final note here...I find that when you bring a flask(s) to the bars, it's fun to go up to the bartender and lie and say "can I have a soda? I'm the DD tonight..." and then fill up your free soda with the booze you brought. Where it gets really good is when you keep going back for those free sodas (cause after all "you're driving") and keep filling it up with your booze, and your speech starts to slur as you've drank more and more of that booze from your flasks...will the bartender notice your speech start to slur? Will he call you out for lying and make you pay for those sodas? I think that's my next test at a bar...